Patriots, we've documented many maniacal skwerl attacks over the years. Most are unprovoked assaults on innocent passerbys, children, and the elderly.
However, some "attacks" are not what they seem. Consider this recent incident at a Mesquite, Texas middle school...
Police officer pepper sprays baby squirrel in front of horrified students
Mesquite, TX, April 06, 2011
A police officer cruelly pepper sprayed a baby squirrel despite traumatised and horrified students who were close by screaming at him to stop.
A video recorded by one of the students that was posted on YouTube has sparked outrage in the city of Mesquite, Texas.
The tiny animal, which is barely the size of the police officer's foot, is seen scurrying around outside, not harming or bothering anyone.
The officer is then seen repeatedly spraying the animal after it apparently began chasing the students of Kimbrough Middle School (click pic for comment).
Students are heard begging the police man, referred to as Officer Davis on the video, to stop with cries of 'No!' and 'Don't spray him!' and 'Please don't do it!'
Mesquite Police Department has defended the officer's actions. Sgt Wes Talley said the officer stood between a group of students and the animal because he thought it may have been rabid. He said after several unsuccessful attempts to scare the squirrel away, the officer used his pepper spray on it to protect the welfare of the students.
And here's the video:
First off, we want to commend the policeman named in the video as Officer Davis for putting himself in the line of fire between a savage bushytail and the horrified middel schoolers. Certainly their safety was foremost in his mind. But, is this yet another skwerlien assault on our citizenry?
Fortunately and unfortunately, the answer is no. Fortunately because we're happy to report that the kids were in no real danger from the rampaging chitterbox. Unfortunately because pathetic skwerlhuggers can show this clip and claim it as an example of man's cruelty to skwerls.
So what really happened that terrifying day in Mesquite? There are two possibilities:
One, this was a deliberate attempt by the bushytail horde to score a propaganda coup and promote squirrel world domination. How? By sending a suicide skwerl into the middle school. The skwerl had no intention of attacking students. Its target was Officer Davis. The bushytail horde knew that Officer Davis would react to the perceived threat and the result would gain sympathy for the skwerl and wrath against those who oppose squirrel world domination (bonus points: the skwerl survived, was none the worse for wear, and was released back into the wild by the local animal control authority).
Two, this was a lost chitterbox looking for help. The skwerl in the video is clearly a very young juvenile bushytail. When separated from parents, skwerls this age may approach anything larger than itself looking for shelter. While not the best survival strategy, this is a likely explanation for the skwerl's behavior (click skwerl for comment).
So, had Officer Davis simply stood his ground, the slavering nutzy would have run up his leg and it could've been escorted from the school grounds (assuming Officer Davis didn't panic and run screaming into a wall).
Patrots, regardless of the reason, there's a valuable lesson to be learned here. Certainly, we must remain ever-vigilant against skwerlien attacks. However, we must also educate ourselves in the ways of bushytail behavior so that our response to a perceived but false threat does not become fodder for the nutzy propaganda machine.