scary squirrel world
FROM PATRIOT JOHN WHITE, THE "DINOSAUR" OF ALL SKWERLS, PROTOSCIURUS
Protosciurus is the oldest-known member of the squirrel family, yet its bones are very similar to those of today's demonic chitterboxes. Skwerl Proto had very primitive dentition and jaw muscles, but displayed the unique ear structure of modern squirrels. In fact, you wouldn't notice any difference if a Protosciurus and a modern skwerl scampered up a tree right now. Among rodents, today's nutzys (Sciurus) are considered living fossils.
The Protosciurus shown on this page lived in North America at a time when grasslands were just getting a start and woodlands were widespread - about 23 - 37 million years ago (early Oligocene).
READER COMMENTS - LATEST ABOVE THE YELLOW LINE
this isn't a nut, it's an eyeball
balimia gone too far
I'd sell my soul for a proto-acorn!
behold me, for i am the holy start of a new era, an era where the squirrels will change the world for the better, now pray......
I've been on hold far too long. 911 is just not going to show.
this is the last stage of osterioperosios
Why does the waiter or waitress approach with uncanny savvy to ask if everything is wonderful when we are in mid chew?
...a little bit softer now...
Wow! That was a strong wind!
*Everybody sing along* Where have all the acorns gone, long time passin...where have all the acorns gone, long time ago... they've gone to chipmunks every one...when will they ever learn, when will they ever learn.....
must...not...eat...nuts...will get fat... no one likes fat...
Protosciurus says,"Oh my god! I just realized i just ate a poisonus acorn, and I've just didn't noticed it 10 years later!"
run away and never return young Simba!@!!!!!
That was some asteroid!!!!!!!!!!!!
My girlsquirrel is on the bony side too, don't be surprised!
How did you get the poor thing to stand up? LOL
my nuts are frozen to the ground
32-12 -7 Hike
tourgiude squirrel off camera: this is why we should remember where we hide are nuts guys.
tour guide people: what happened to jimmy!
i hope that guy antony with the squirrel revive kit doesnt see this he would freak!
the voices the voices they want me to ohhhh thats dirty....!!!
Oh my gosh! I'm naked!
oooooh....my beautiful tail!!!!!!!! those dieting bastards lied!!!!!!!
I told you I was hungry...
CAN U SEE MY BONES
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,1O READY OR NOT HERE I COME!!!!
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i diyd
THE PERFECT GOAL OF THINNESS REQUIRED OF THE TYPICAL AMERICAN MALE FOR ALL DESIRED FEMALES
He might have been a hobo in disguise! oh the shame!
My acorns MINE ALL MINE!!!! Mine!!!
proto-chippy was devastated to discover that there were no prosciuto and mozz and basil sandwiches any longer...
I feel a slight draft
i knew this headache medicene would do this!!!!! it took my nuts
my "NUTES" THEY r GONE
Just one Bite! they ment it!!!
hey, Bob your buried and I'm not HAHA!!
Hey look a chicken!
PLEASE!!!!! DADDY!!!DON'T BEAT ME!!!AGAIN!!!
where is all the other people?!? im see no evil! where's hear and say no evil??!
acorns... need... acorns
Hey, this diet really worked!! *claps paws*
Oh my aching bones!!
hehehe! i ate my skin! er... nobody heard that...
Why are they watching me? Oh ya they dont know that someday ill have my vengeance when my skwerls minion will get me back to life Muahahahaahhahahahahah!!! (evil laugh)
ill get u for this PATRIOT audrey!!! u gave me the diet pills... i couldind resist i soo fat
I guess i should have worn sunscreen
why couldnt they just leave me in the ground
Can you hear me now? Good!
No, we don't have none of that there toilet paper up here.
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I'M NUDE!!!! SEND ME SOME FUR!!!!
If I don't look, maybe the lava will just go away..
DEAR GOD!!!! WHY WAS I CREATED BEFORE EXCEDRIN LORD, WHY?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!
(s)-Hey!....I look like Lindsay Lohan!
time to join the dinosaurs! yikes! t-rex!
Could somebody feed me? i've got no stomach to hold food!
I got frozen in the refrigerator trying to find food and now they tore off my flesh and pullled out my organs!
I'm a petrified skwerl.
They took my petrified tree! Damn those dirty evolved-apes!
Now then.. I'll just bury my nut right in the middle of this caveman's well manicured grassland and I'll be done.
wooooooo that was one close shave
That's the last time I sneak a crap in a blizzard!
I died of boredom.
you know..I've had better days.....
A perfect example of Skwerli Anorexiasaurus
holy crap.i can see my bones.wait a crapin miunet i'v been like this for 10 years!!!!!
im skin and bones exept that skinny part
Im the new improved skrewwel!
the nut iss too big and it dosen't fit in my puny mouth..
"ma's gonna kill me...."
this is what i get for going on a crach diet
when i saw that spot i just had to stare at it for a while.....ooooohhhh.....pretty spot.......
can anybody tell what happened yesterday? what was in the food?
i wonder if my head is detatchable!?
its never taken me this long to bust a nut before!
*HISSS* The light...it BUUURRRNS!!!!!
say hello to my.... wait whered my little friend go
some one put the wrong head on me!!!!!!!!!
My brains hurt.....
Hello down there... I say, hellooo down there...?
Me Protosciurus. Me so bony.
crap i knew that anorexic diet was to good to be true
i bet anorexic's think i am hott...
hi wow you really helped me on my stupid biology project about squirrels so thanks !!
Protosciurus say: "Pot bad for you! And, no I mean the drug, not a toilet. You idiot!"
the SUN IIITTT BUUUUUUURRRRNSSSSS!
holy mother and father please show me some nuts
When is the T-rex going to attack me it feels like it has been forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I CANT SEE YOU, YOU CANT SEE ME.
im dead..............ill eat ur soul
Hey you! Down in the hole! Is this burrow occupied?
more nuts, please!
Oh hell, here come those stupid Neanderthal skwerl taggers...
You mean we STILL haven't taken over the world? I'm so ashamed ...
AM I THIN ENOUGH TO GO DOWN THE RODENT CATWALK NOW?
oooooh~my friggin head im so wasted!
my god i cant feel my hands..... argh i cant feel my face either AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHH im stress need to eat nuts....
I knew that Atkins diet was a mistake
I was thinking of a way to take over the world I wish it would of came to me sooner!! Damn!
Oh no! bob fell down a hole!!! CAN YOU HEAR ME? OH no it closed up BOB BOB NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
999,998... 999,999... 1,000,000... Ready or Not! Here I Come!
HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO A SQUIRREL , I AM GOING TO CALL 911 STUPID. TO DO SUCH A THING I SPITE ON YOU ''THU THU'' I WILL SPANK YOU REAL HARD AND I WILL BEET YOU TO A BLOODY DETH.
Tuesday's coming, did you bring your coat?
Spock! Quick! Scotty isn't responding and the rays from Khan's spaceship are penetrating our Radon shield!Spock! SPOOOOOCKKK.....
now i know what happens when you pull on a tigers tail.
Heh heh heh... I'm the hide and seek chamipon.
dont listen to the atkins diet!!!! its a lie!!!
I'm from Pirates of the Caribbean.
AND THE LITTLE SQUIRREL SAYS BOO !
DON'T HATE ME BECAUSE I'M BEAUITFUL
I am methylinakon, the primogenitor of all rodentia. Fear me.
What?! I'm STILL too fat to be a model?
ohhh, I have been resurrected!
What? you never seen an anorexic squirrel?
man, wonder what's on the tube onight... aaah! Man, that hu-oooh!- hurt. if i wasn'-eeek!-wasn't constipated i'd be bree-eeek!-breeding right now...
So much for low-carb diets...
You got it wrong. That's not a proto-skewrl. That's an UNDEAD skwerl. And he's gonna haunt you.
boil my skull and my teeth will fall out
i must have my ancient nut
This is not what I ment when I said I want "boned"!
I'm the oldest squirrel known to man, and where do I end up? On a website? Jesus said I'd have eternal life, but REALLY?!
im not dead...just very lifeless
oh so thats what 23 million years does to you...
holy carpalony those new bird feeders are a killer.
I'm the work of a skwerlhuggin necromancer.
Life was good til MeeMee told Zach & Leyna not to feed me anymore...
this is a slow game of hide-and-go-seek
Enough with this noncence! Dont believe this website! We squirrels are all inocent creatures.(laughs to self evily) I didn't do it I tell you! I didn't take all of the acorns so nobody can eat!
37....38.....46...12....uhhhhh. Damn! 1...2...3...4...5...
I DIDN'T BELIVE WHEN THEY SAID THEY WERE GOING TO KILL ME...WHY ME!!!!!
Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you CHITTTERRR!
I feel so naked and ashamed!
Man, they said that Rot Gut would peel the skin off of the roof of my mouth...Who da thunk?
BURP! ... that was a good protosciurus.. all I left was bones.. though it did take a nasty chunk from my ... hey.. where's my hand?! AHHH!!!
Don't kill me I've got a wife and kids.... I mean uh.... hey wait no I don't, just don't hurt me!
awww jeeze!! my hemorhoids are killing me.........DEATH TO HUMANS!!!
im a zombie swkerl YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!
OMG! Those diet pills look just like peanuts!
Must have a proto nut.
i think that nut was poisoned
i'm not a skwerl anymore
OHHHHHHHH...........YOU GOT ME MEL!
DEAR GOD!!!! WHY WAS I CREATED BEFORE EXCEDRIN LORD, WHY?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!
happy halloween ha ha ha happy halloween ha ha ha
so, do i look like that chick on Dark Angel now?
complete skelligen of T-Squirrellus.... may be viewed at the Chicago Museum of Natural and Unnatural History
corn is better with butter. My left leg is longer than my right
in my day we had to walk uphill both ways to get a few nuts....
what a scary baby!
insignificant humans below, I, Giant Bone-o-Scirurus will squash you!!! Ahhhhh-hahahahahahahahah!!!
I knew there was anthrax in the acorn!
dang! this headache is KILLING me!!!
I'm not normally one to complain, but . . . you know, these fossilised nuts are murder on my teeth . . .
Who you callin' primitive, buster?!? You should see what YOUR PatRiot ancestors looked like, back in the Oligocene! Bunch o' overgrown amoeba!
I found this in my stomach..I'll eat it again...Hmmm...hey look another....hmmm...yet for some odd reason I'm still hungry..look another....
You can never be too rich or too thin. Yeah, right...
No sense in my lying about stealing all the sunflower seed from PatRiot John White's birdfeeder - he can see right through me!
I've gotta make an appointment with the chiropractor...
The horrors of osteoporosis...
Damn. I think I've gone a little too far on this Pritkin diet...
MA TOLD ME TO LAY OFF THE JUNK FOOD
geez, i'm soooooo hungry!!!
holy crap! that mastadon in gonna step on me!!!
PROTOSCIURUS PHOTO COURTESY OF PATRIOT JOHN WHITE