Patriots, pathetic skwerlhuggers are not only minions of squirrel world domination, but often times saviors. With wanton disregard for the law or consequences, they'll rescue abandoned and/or injured baby skwerls, nurse them back to health or adulthood, and release them back into the ranks of the demonic bushtail horde.
To do this, these traitors to humanity bring their nutzy charges into their homes raising them as royalty.
Most do this in a clandestine way so that, sometimes, friends, neighbors, and even their families do not realize the danger that resides in that "off limits" room or shed.
The worst offenders become so enamored with their resident chitterbox that they decide to keep it as a pet. Their logic and rationale for doing this borders on madness. This kind of lunancy may end in the slavering nutcruncher running amok, destroying personal property, biting little kittens, sending relatives to the emergency room, and even in the total destruction of the home by fire and/or explosion.
Then there's the skwerlhugger who can't help but brag about their seditious activity. The news clip below is a prime example. In it, an unrepentant skwerlhugger describes how she rescued two baby skwerls, posted photos of her crime on Facebook, and then cried foul when the authorities came pounding on her door...
Patriots, we aren't opposed to animal rescue; not even skwerl rescue. After all, a properly rehabiliated nutzy may reject the false promises of squirrel world domination, return to the bushytail horde, and advocate for peace with humankind. However, a chitterbox raised and released by a skwerlhugger devoted to skwerlien dogma will return to its slavering brethren eager to inflict heinous acts of terrorism on civilization.
One thing is clear, the skwerlhugger featured in the news clip simply ignored standard nutzy rendition and rehabilitation protocol. She even claimed ignorance of the law when asked why she committed such a treasonous offense. This is why her supposed good deed should not go unpunished.
Patriots, there are so many rules, regulations, and laws pertaining to the preservation of skwerls that one sometimes wonders if our government isn't just another cog in the machinery of nutzy oppression. So, it's a relief to know that their are still some laws on the books that are in direct opposition to squirrel world domination. But for how long? For, as the news clip reports, skwerlhugging organizations are already mustering forces to defend criminal acts meant to further the plan for squirrel world domiaqntion. Therefore, Patriots world-wide must not only meet the bushytail horde on the battlefield, but defend the rule of law in every court in every jurisdiction.
ATTENTION SKWERLHUGGERS: Are you in the throes of a skwerlien obsession? Do you long to reject skwerlhuggery and the false promises of squirrel world domination but can't quite break away from your addiction? May we suggest joining Skwerlhuggers Anonymous - the easy 3-step program that will free you from the shackles of skwerlien oppression...
JOIN SKWERLHUGGERS ANONYMOUS
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