Patriots, there they go... again. Pathetic skwerlhuggers trying to convince the world that skwerls are nice and that we should all submit to squirrel world domination.
This time, again, it's the old argument that slavering chitterboxes are harmless vegans.
We thought we shattered that illusion at the end of the last century when we published Patriot Mapes' shocking video of Carny the Skwerl eating a worm - alive (see link below).
However, we continued to receive protesting emails from sulking skwerlhuggers saying the Mapes video was a fake, or that the behavior displayed by the skwerl was atypical.
So we published more videos, more photos, and more testimonials. And still the apostate skwerlverts protested, even in the face of our photos showing an antelope ground squirrel eating bunny brains. Unbelievably, skwerlhuggers refused to believe their eyes...
Then science stepped into the picture. In 2002, Dr. Michael T. Friggens published a report in The Southwestern Naturalist documenting the meat-eating behavior of antelope ground squirrels in Texas (Friggens, M. (2002). "Carnivory on Desert Cottontails by Texas Antelope Ground Squirrels". The Southwestern Naturalist 47 (1): 132-133).
All this should lead to only one, objective conclusion: squirrels eat meat and if their plans for squirrel world domination come to pass, they just might eat us all.
Yet we still get protests from pathetic skwerlhuggers disputing our findings and conclusions. The latest comes from an anonymous skwerlhugger. We detect a chink in the armor though:
This (our feature Chew On This) is plain wrong. Squirrels do not eat meat unless they are starving to death. That's a fact and here's a link to a video that proves you wrong. So stop spreading lies about squirrels and find something else to do!!!!
The video referred to appears below. The presenter is James R. Talbott, a staff veterinarian at Belle Forest Animal Hospital and Kennel in Nashville, Tennessee.
WHAT DO SQUIRRELS EAT? BY EHOW.COM
Patriots, you'll note that Dr. Talbott initially says skwerls do not eat meat, then contradicts himself in the next sentence, but qualifies his latter statement by saying the drooling nutzys will only consume flesh "in severe starvation situations when there's no food available."
This is just plain wrong. Hunger certainly plays a role, but the absence of nuts, seeds, and vegetable matter is not critical to a skwerl's decision to eat meat. Does the baby bird-eating skwerlball below look emaciated to you?
So why do squirrels eat meat? It's a simple a matter of opportunity for most, but both carnivorous scavenging and predatory behavior have been observed. And what do they gain? Primarily protein from the meat, calcium and phosphorus from bone.
All this brings us back to one horrific conclusion: given the opportunity, a maniacal chitterbox will eat you and everyone you love. And should the bushytail horde's plan for squirrel world domination come to pass, who can deny that the entire human race will just be meat on their platter?
Patriots, we hope this settles the debate about carnivorous squirrels once and for all. But just to provide a little overkill on the subject, we leave you with one more example of the nutzys ravenous appetite for flesh...
COLUMBIAN GROUND SQUIRREL EATING A MOUSE BY BRENT KEARNY
ATTENTION SKWERLHUGGERS: Are you appalled by the busytail horde's dinner plans? Are you prepared to reject skwerlhuggery and the false promises of squirrel world domination but can't quite break away from your addiction? May we suggest joining Skwerlhuggers Anonymous - the easy 3-step program that will free you from the shackles of skwerlien oppression...
|JOIN SKWERLHUGGERS ANONYMOUS|
CARNY THE SKWERL
CHEW ON THIS
FIGHTING HUNGER WORLD-WIDE
HUNGER IN AMERICA