Patriots, we debated whether to present the following report as a Profiles in Terror, a Before Tufty There Was..., or a Skwerls In History feature. It's really all three, but that's not important. What is important is that you see the slavering nutzy known as "Rupert the Great" for what he really was... a menace to society.
As far as we know, there are no written accounts of Rupert's exploits, police reports are sealed or "misplaced", and eyewitnesses are reluctant to provide on-the-record statements.
The only known chronicle of this criminal skwerlball's life is the 1950 documentary, The Great Rupert.
The film portrays Rupert as a young, ambitious skwerl who moves to the big city. Apparently, his dream is to make it big in show business. He hooks up with a washed-up lion tamer who forces him to wear women's clothes and dance about in a seedy apartment.
Rupert soon realizes that the lion tamer (and the rest of the show biz world) have no interest in his considerable abilities. He finds himself abandoned in a park where he vows revenge on all humankind.
To do this, Rupert needs to raise a large sum of money. Taking over the world wasn't cheap even back then.
He allies himself with a greedy slumlord, purchases stock in a South African mining venture, and with the help of some unemployed vaudevillian anarchists launders the profits through a number of phony businesses and bogus charities.
Fortunately for civilization, the plan unravels when the greedy slumlord's no-account, musician son gets involved in a Syriana-like oil deal. This attracts the attention of the FBI, IRS, and the local constabulary. But before they can make the bust, Rupert torches his hideout thereby destroying the evidence linking him to the plot.
In the end, Rupert runs off to join the circus. Rupert's current whereabouts are unknown...
SCENES FROM THE GREAT RUPERT
VIDEO CLIPS FROM THE GREAT RUPERT
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WALLPAPER FOR YOUR DESKTOP
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FIREBUG SQUIRREL ON RAMPAGE (VIDEO CLIP)
MORE PROFILES IN TERROR
BEFORE TUFTY THERE WAS
SKWERLS IN HISTORY
Thanx to Patriot Marc Havard for tipping us to The Great Rupert