scary squirrel world FOREST SERVICE THREATENS NATION

As any Patriot can tell you, the U.S.D.A. Forest Service is nothing more than the American front for Tufty the Traffic Safety Squirrel's Squirrel Enforcement Army (SEA).

Yet, in spite of overwhelming evidence, many people refuse to acknowledge the danger the Forest Service poses not only to this nation, but to the world.

In fact, from skwerlien species protection to the tragic, fatal skiing "accidents" that befell Sonny Bono and Michael Kennedy, the Forest Service may be the most underated and unrecognized nutzy terrorist organization ever.

So, is it any wonder that the Forest Service has a massive horde of weapons of mass destruction...

Weapons Held by the Forest Service as of April 26, 2003
Source: Agriculture Department Inspector General


The Forest Service has 166 facilities where it stores explosives, military weapons and munitions and monitors 153 additional such sites at private ski resorts. Unfortunately, the Service does not know where all of the sites are located.

These are the weapons and explosives kept at those sites (click skwerl below for comment):

CLICK FOR HIDEOUS CHITTER WEAPONS...
Howitzer: A cannon that can fire between three and 10 rounds per minute. Depending on the type of howitzer, its range is between 9,600 to 12,330 yards.
Recoilless rifle: A cannon-like rifle that can be elevated and rotated when mounted. It was originally designed as an anti-tank weapon.

MUNITIONS...
Ammunition for use in 75-mm, 105-mm and 16-mm recoilless rifles, or for 75-mm, 105-mm howitzers.

EXPLOSIVES AND BLASTING AGENTS...
Low explosives: Materials that can be detonated when confined. They include safety fuses, igniters, igniter cords and fuse lighters. Blasting agent: Any unconfined material or mixture of fuel and an oxidizer used for blasting. Detonator: A device that sets off explosions. High explosives: Explosives that can be detonated when unconfined. They include dynamite, cast boosters and water gels. Water gel: This explosive material contains portions of water, oxidizers and fuel, plus a cross-linking agent - a compound that adds viscosity to thicken the material.


The above summary of Forest Service might doesn't even account for small arms, other dangerous weapons or stockpiles of poisonous chemicals. Should we be concerned?

CLICK FOR HIDEOUS CHITTER Patriots, the Inspector General warns that evil doers might easily steal air tanker planes used for extinguishing wildfires to spray harmful chemicals on a defensless population unless the agency beefs up security.

Auditors said the Forest Service failed to restrict access to the storage buildings and lacked correct inventories for some of the buildings.

They also found large quantities of stockpiled munitions in some of the buildings. One had almost thousand artillery shells - enough for a 24-year supply (click prairie dawg for comment).

Why we ask, why would the Forest Service need such a huge stockpile of weapons? Surely, it doesn't take a recoilless rifle to take out even the most vicious badger or bear. And don't expect us to listen to the lame explanations of pathetic skwerlhuggers who insist that the weaponry is needed to remove tree stumps or to prevent avalanches.

So, we posed the question above to National Forest Service spokesperson, Bob Woodward as he left the Hog Heaven Gun Club in White Pine, Tennessee. His response follows...

"How did you find me here? Obviously, it's to keep the likes of you in line!!!"

Well, Bob, we wish that just once you'd actually answer just one of our concerns. But no matter. There's only one reason the Forest Service maintains an arsenal of mass destruction: to support the Squirrel Enforcement Army's plans to conquer our great land.

Thus, the only remaining question is: Patriots, if we don't stop the SEA and the Forest Service now, how long will it be before we see this in the rear view mirrors of our SUVs?

CLICK FOR HIDEOUS CHITTER
CLICK SKWERL COPTER PILOT FOR COMMENT

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armed skwerl photos courtesy of Patriot Curtis