scary squirrel world WHERE DO SQUIRRELS COME FROM?



It's obvious to anyone who weighs the evidence that squirrels actually do come from pumpkins-- but there is much more to the story. For you see, all three theories are correct on the origins of squirrels, at least in part.

Four thousand years ago, a mysterious non-squirrel diety created two squirrels, one male, one female. The squirrels were allowed to eat of any of the nuts in the garden that this diety had placed them in... except for one kind, the Nuts of Knowledge of Good and Evil. However the squirrels ate these nuts, and now knew their immense power. They built cities and towns, and incredible technology.

But there was a downside: The squirrels soon ran out of supplies and food on their homeworld, and thus needed a new planet to inhabit. And so, three thousand five hundred years ago, the squirrels used their incredible technology to build a mothership that brought them to the nearest suitable world: ours.

These squirrels secretly settled down among us, using a similiar species, the chipmunk, in order to blend in. Simply long-tailed chipmunks, humanity thought. But humanity was wrong. Very, very, very wrong.

The squirrels began to invade our world in secret, but because of a strange effect that our other-worldly nuts had on their bodies, they were unable to reproduce, and thus created the pumpkin. The super-intelligent squirrels tricked the human race into adopting these pumpkins as our own. In fact, further studies reveal that the idea for Halloween was because a squirrel was found dressed in fig leaves!

These alien beasts soon were creating pumpkins by the ton, and therefore also were able to make more of themselves. We are not yet sure how the pumpkins work, but what we do know is that it takes only four hours to create a new squirrel.

However, there is one squirrel, the legendary Nice Squirrel, who wishes for peace between squirrels and humanity. But this Nice Squirrel is nowhere to be found, and we as a species must fight back!

We've all been so blind! The squirrels have come for one reason and that reason is world domination! Soon they will eat all of our food as well, and leave us to starve on our then-dying planet! We must unite! Time is short! A copy of squirrel blueprints was found marking completed world domination in 2010! It is almost too late! Hurry, warn your communites! Write your congressman! Shoot every squirrel you lay eyes on! May the Nice Squirrel protect us all!
They came here from the land which must never be mentioned to start a baseball team, but when they weren't allowed to they flew into a furious rage that still continues today.
After conclusive study, I have discovered that skwerls are actually the living embodiment of loss. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I have made a detailed analysis of the skwerl population in a small three block radius of my house, including a city park. I quickly began to notice that everytime a new skwerl showed up (sometimes people say born, but have YOU seen a skwerl born? I didn't think so.), someone in my community lost something insignificant, like a pen cap, or CD case, etc. Likewise, when the population decreased (rarely, I might add), someone found what they had lost. Solid evidence.
they're rats that got into a batch of mushrooms on the 1994 phish tour
God rested on the 7th day of creation, that's when the devil went to work! Darwin was a Skwerlhugger, he concoctoed the whole evolution theory to hide thier true origin.
during the big bang a giant ball of goo was left and sent hudling to earth and and for millions of years the squirrels were plannig on to take over the world but when they were finished and crawled out they humans killing mammoths so they went some where else for there base and observed humanity waiting for a toime to strike.
They were the origonal earth rulers, then humans invaded and shrank all the squirrels too minimum size, now we rule the Earth instead of the squirrels
this proves beyond a doubt that tree rats DO spew forth from pumpkins!! willy
I believe that they are directly related to the dust bunnies that inhabit such places as beneath beds and living room furniture. They are certainly the same color and the same fluffiness. In fact its possible dust bunnies are incubating squirrels and when you aren't looking they manage to escape into the wild and become the full blossomed squirrels that we see cavorting outside. I've been debating trying an experiment of leaving a trail of peanuts from under the bed to a havaheart trap and see what happens. Think National Geographics would help fund such an experiment?
Squirrels were made by croos-moose freaks who were made by evil men known as child makeing potion makes, who lived in a flying potion house
Once upon a time, a young female feline met a ornery male ferret. The feline thought she had found love and so they make-love. But, the ferret wasn't ready for a commitment and leaves when he finds out she is pregnant. She gave birth to a huge litter of.....Skwerls. It was an unprecedented, two different species producing viable fertile offspring. But, alas, the fate of the world was written.
Millions of years ago the first squirrels started a squirrel tribe. They had very advanced societies, and they believed that their leaders had mystical powers beyond their belief. Then when humans arrivied, they destroyed the squirrel tribes, highly decrasing the population. They built over the squirrel paradise. Ever since the squirrels plotted revenge. Their last leader before the humans Tufty declared war.
Ummm, big squirrells?
They came from Pluto as spies.
Skwerls don’t actually exist. Images have been concocted by those who would have us believe that Skwerls are real. Any logical person knows that they are merely doctored images of Bigfoot. Some even argue that Bigfoot is only about 6 inches tall, making it easy to doctor his image to look like that of a skwerl.
Samantha Yager, McKenna Metz, Shannon Hogan, Amanda Ash, Jessica Hollaway
sea squrrills live in sub-tropic waters of pacific ocean. On new moons they mass on certain beaches and mate and lay eggs
In my experience hiking in the mountains I have found that marmots are very mystical creatures. Unfortunately, they are not small enough to wreck the havoc they truly desire. So a few crafty marmots genetically engineered some of their offspring and created a smaller, sneakier version that we have come to know as the skwerl. Yours truly, the axe.
Skwerls arrived at earth in a metor that wipped out all the dionourus
One day a rat was cold and decided that if he grew a thicker coat and a fur on his tail he would be warmer. Little did he know that this fur coat would give him respectability and fame, and that even little old ladies would sit in the park and feed him. He told some of his buddies, and that is how skwerls started.
It's Obvious. Squirrels are scattered peices of god. We should capture all skwerls, roadkill, and other whatnot, and throw them all into one pile, then, if we did it correctly, GOD SHALL ARISE AND THROW A PARTY!
Squirells were created millions of years ago when the first human civilization fell from power. we lost concious thought and fell back into an evolutinary cycle. The squirell was one of the weird things that resulted from the first nuclear war that killed everything.
God created them as a supreme being to rule all humans! P.S. Scary thought isn't it?
Squirrels are a recently added feature to the global earth simulation in which we are all a part of. The squirrel feature has a few glitches though. These glitches cause squirrels to multiply incredibly fast, even in environments not conducive to simulated life. They are causing a severe imbalance in the earth simulation. If this imbalance isn't resilved within the next 30 years by the simulation program itself, the squirrel feature will be removed. So if you love squirrels and want them to be around for more than 30 years, you must kill as many as possible so that the implementors of the earth simulation will not remove them.
squrill are a horible creature sent by satan to kill and study us so that in the horibble war of the apocelipse they will knmow are weaknesses and easilly destroy us.
Squirrels come from France. the only thing French that is missing from their bevhavior patterns is massive ciggarette smoking and wearing tiny little berets. but then again, I think I've seen them doing that also. Al squirrells are decendant of a set of French Sewer rats that got cold nad decided to grow fur coats over their tails to stay warm and make weak people think they are cute. Really they are nasty rats with slimey tails. And devious plots to subdue human-kind.... And where do Rat come from besides sewrers in France? God. God made rats so there would be some thing to eat the faces of Zombies.
They seem to come from my fireplace latey, the dumbasses.
they are the aliens that live in the trees. they are secret spys for different planets. they dig their way into your attics and watch us in our habitats. they are waiting to take over our world.
they were crossed bred with porpoises and wombats.
i think that the chitterdemons (even i dare not say their name) were made by the most powerful evil spirit in the underworld, HADES!
Squirrels appeared when Eden was created. She was the one who encouraged Adam to eat the apple.
Ever heard of road kill? Well at first they where little critters but then one got ran over. That person thought it was so much fun he told everone and then they all started killing skwerls. They were extinct for about a year when some hippi brought them back to life in the 70's and gave them Supernatural powers. So don't be friends with hippi's or they will call the skwerls on you.
we are all imagining them. they do not exist. isn't that awesome!?!
I can certainly conclude that I may or may not have found the origin of skwerl.

One October evening, my friend and I were having a lovely time sitting on our asses and watching a TV show. That was when we heard a rustling in the fireplace in between us. We wondered what it could possibly be. My eyes widened.

"SANTA?!" I cried out, like a five year old on Christmas. There was no answer. No answer, until just seconds later the brown, beady eyed rodent came flying out of the ashes at full speed, shooting past us in a bushy-tailed blur. The said friend began screaming and raving like a maniac. So did her mom who was in the adjoining kitchen where the squirrel took off to.

Thus, I have concluded that the origin of skwerl may be fireplace related. we burned some leaves in there. So it is entirely possible that the creatures come from leaves. Or ashes of leaves.

Then, getting into a more philosophical discussion about it, we considered the possibility that the squirrels could very well be one of santa's manifestations that went out to put presents down too early. After all, there are thousands of santas. How else would that bastard put all those sweaters and crappy presents under everyone's trees?

Simply put, they were a santa cloning experiment went wrong. Perhaps the pagan sentiment of October sparks them up from the DNA planted in ashes and leaves, and so the faulty clones spring up only to scurry about and cause their mischief.

I truly wish I had proof of this happening, but the little bugger was back out a window before we could even get a camera out. :C

Yours truly,
George G. Goat
I think squirrels fell out of the sky while fighting an evil war lord
i think they originated from some weird planet ..and they came to earth to take tree at a time
My father catches skwerls in a cage where they come for the peanut butter on a Ritz back in one far corner. Sometimes several come. The cage serves as a kind of meeting place or pub where their schemes are laid out. But while plotting my father carries the cage some distance away and spray paints their tales so they can be recognized as part of the confederacy of skwerls. They are dangerous because their resourceful and tenacious natures could offset the balance of nature and threaten the existence of mankind.
I think skwerls is just rats in different outfits and all deserve to DIE
the squirrel originated from across species of chinchillas and cats. note the tail the squirrel has and then note the cats tail they are very similar. you can't say that it is just a coisidence because its not. soon the squirrels will rise up and over take the world so beware!!
Squirrels like pumpkin seeds. So do humans.. did we evolve from pumpkins? Although most people's Grandmother's say they were found in a pumpkin patch, I am pretty sure we were born the normal way, and evolved similarly. No, squirrels are not from pumpkins.. cute video tho!
God blew up the ancestors of squirrels and made chipmunks instead.
i think they are mans worse nightmare
They fell out of a tree, then I shot them in the head with my 12 gauge shotgun, and I made them into zombie squirrels.
They came from the bowels of red neck morons like you!!!
Squerrels is our extre-terresterial overlords, secretly controllin' our every puliticul move. G.W. is their Emperor.
...I think nuts are actually squirrel eggs..
i think its really interesting about how much just one animal has these facts and its really cool+ it really helped me with my reasearch
When a momma squirrel and a daddy squirrel love each other very much, they decide to have baby squirrels, like our parents had us as babies, and they grow older until they have babies, and die...
I think they are cute little animals that came from the wrong pair of dogs.
from hell....they crawled up from the deep, murky depths of satans undercrakers. Not the red ones though, they are small and cuddly, the grey ones can bite my hairy black ass.
Squirrels come from professer Skwii Squirrelsworth's laboratory misshap. She was attempting to make an automatic nutcracker, and instead, she got a....SQUIRREL
Ms. Steele created them in a lab.
i believe that skwerls came from the prehistoric era. They evolved from vicious underwater air breathing rodent.. probablly along the lines of wat we know today as a rabid capibara. (the underwater part explains the long bushy tail) Because of evolution, the skwerl is now an energetic in need of a lil nap time animal. One theory i have of why it's so energetic is becasue back in the day when the world was young an ancient skwerl was injected, into the bloodstream, w/ red bull by a red-bull-bearing-hippo (trust me these things r so dangerous). When the skwerl reproduced it's children became the same way so soon all skwerls had this effect. Fortunaly when the comits rained down on the earth 20 zillion years ago, it killed off some, but only a small amount, of the hiper-active skwerls. So that leaves us in today's world of crazy, rampaging skwerls... AND if you're lucky you just mite see one of those ever-so-rare, non-red-bullified skwerls.
Penguins birthed a little creature that had major defects. This penguin creature mated with the other penguins and, over time, evolved into what is now known as the squirrel. The killer penguins which evolved in this very era forced the squirrels to move to warmer climates.
they used to be humans and were punished for bad behavior and were sentenced to a life of torture in the body of a small mammal only to wreak havoc on the remaining human race.
jesus ur all insane every one knows squirrels come from......*looks around suspisiosly*...... dundundun pop corn. yes shocking isnt it but.... some one had to tell all of u.
Hi! they might be a result of long time sun and radioactive radiation on killer microbes. ~Dejan, Sweden
I say that squirrels were banished from god and so god said thu shel have bushy tail
The skwerls weren't always land critters, fuzzy and "cute" as we know them. They were once a feared creature, with fangs like a sharpened steel blade. One day, Karl the bat is drinking some blood from various animals. He gets a cow, a bear, and then a mountain lion. The mountain lion realizes that Karl is biting him, and attacks! He rips off Karl's wings and Karl escapes with his life. Ever since then, skwerls have been skwerls.
They evolved from the devils semen
squirrels are animals that destroy stuff and yet! they dont bother me.
rats grew extra hair on their tail and evolved so that they could climb trees.Hence the scwerl.
they weren't good enough for heaven, too evil. Fell from sky
squirrel have come from feces-ridden sewers and we must send them back to the dark dank hole from which they crawled.
i think that skwerls were a mistake when god tried to make raccoons
Technology theory: When the first and greatest squirrel, Squirrelamagne, tried to bioengineer a squirrel and a penguin to make the mythological cryton mace weilding beast, there was a magical mishap and the plant melted down. DNA, squirrel bodies, weapons, and Keebler cookies went everywhere. From the wreckage, the evil trechorous skerl arose.
they are god they created the earth one told me so and then another told me too and then they were all like we are god we created you and the earth.
squirrles come from the flying spaggeti monster!!!!!!!!
Squirrels have always been here, but civilization as some call it, have turned them out of and used up their natural habitant.
They were morphed with egyptian dog gods with long toe nails who could ascend trees via the power of the mind. they learnt to nussle rather than bark and realised that nuts have hidden hallucinergenic properties
I died and squirrels poured out of me....
They are the result of nuclear waste falling from the sky and landing on supernaturally occurring mouse spirits.
I've been trying to explain to my friends for years but no one believes me! Squirrels are modified berries!

No, look! Everyone knows what a hesperidium is, right? A modified berry consisting of highly compartmentalized innards and a tough, leathery covering. It describes squirrels perfectly!

Squirrels grow on trees and were evolved as a dispersal mechanism to scatter the seeds they carry. Oh, sure, zoologists say they're mammals and point to that extra bone in the inner ear, but I say that it is just a case of convergent evolution. These highly specialized fruit can react to their environment- running from danger, etc.- to ensure proper planting of the next generation of trees.

Others proclaim, 'they're mammals! They bear live young and produce milk!' But had any of them actually seen that happening? No. That is simply a cover story created by biologists to simplify the world for us. You've seen the trouble GM foods have run into in popular opinion, just think what people would make of fruit that could run around and bite them in defense!

No, Squirrels are in fact a highly modified form of fruit. Next time you're in a park, watch the little buggers... it fits perfectly.

-Botany Dave
they are rodkill come back to life
they spontaneously combusted from a pregnant hippo
Skwerls came from a drunk male skunk found a female weasle and got busy.
Squirrels come from eggs. The eggs take about three weeks to fully form, and then the squirrels will hatch almost fully grown (depending on the breed). For this reason, and this reason only, squirrels get very emotional around broken eggshells (as is understandable whilst getting in touch with your youthful days), and may prove to become very violent.
65 million years ago the first squirrel landed an earth from their planet that was unstable and exploded. and made earth their new home , because Earth was the only planet in the universe besides their home planet that was capable of growing nuts.
The Flying Squirrel is a bird desesdant that came out wrong. Then different speacies came up as a 4th desendant including pteridactals.
The hatched from acorns and sailed on ye'old ship from bratislavia to their homebound destinations. acorns are also their testicles. so in conclusion squirrels are hatched from testicles.
Skwerrils were genetically engineered by extraterrestrials to spy on the human race. Their brain patterns are transmiited to the mothership during their sleep cycle.
they came from foamy
Squirrels are genetic experiments sent back in time from the year 1998... and they sent them to umm... 10CE ... and ... well, it already happened... and ... I need additional drink as my logic is clearly hurting my brain sponge!
they have wierd powers tht create a tash on there lip and then name themselves murph (paul whittiker)
they are dead people duhhhhh
Mars. It has to be mars.
they are Pansy elves
Skwerls came from planet pluto. they took a space ship here along with their other members of skwerl world. They came 6 million years ago, though 6 million years ago,... skwerls had no tails or brains. So really, these were tailess dumb skwerls. Their intention was not to come to planet earth nd live here, but to take all of its nuts nd take them back to skwerl world on planet pluto. But unfortunatly their space ship crashed into a tree.. nd they are forever stranded on planet earth. They can not make another ship, because in skwerl world.. ships grow on trees, But on earth... they do not.
the moon skwerls got pissed and we got left with olny the skwerls with anger management issuses but odly they have brilliant ideas thats y the moon people haven't made a dam civilization yet..
Skwerls are nothing more than robotic bombs wrapped in cheap fake fur which the omnipotent evil one, Osama Bin Laden, has created and dropped on the united states in order to blow up our nuts. We must blow them all up now before they have a chance to explode...
Skwerls come from the underground nut mines, where they take rabbits and transform them to become skwerls!!!!
Skwerlz came from a planet far away so far away i don't know the name of this planet, they came one fine spring day long ago before my nan was born they instantly started to annoy the dinosaurs so the dinosaurs sent them away but when the dinosaurs became extinct the skwerlz annoyed the first man and ever scince then they have been annoying everything in their paths...Theory by Keshia W. of Australia
Behind my backyard there are woods. There are alot of squirrels back there and that's how I got interrested in squirrelology, the study of squirrels. After I watch these so called "squirrels" for about five hours, something happened. One squirrel took out a bazooka and attacked me. Luckily, squirrels have very bad aim so that's why I'm alive to tell you this. The other squirrels turned into big, furry beasts and attacked me. I'm typing with a broken arm and eternal bleeding because of those beasts. Some of them oozed into the ground and then got out of the ground near me. Others fellout of helicopters in the sky! They were in the thousands! I drew them off with nuts and their 3 true weaknesses, marshmallows, puppets, and clowns. I don't blame them with the clown thing because I'm afraid of them too but I should thank them because that day I faced that fear. Anyway, please watch out for those beasts.
They burst out of some broccoli.
I support the theory that squirrels are aliens. They are responible for global warming and the anchient civilization on Mars.
That all squirreles came out of every spce possible trying 2 take over then world but humans were more advanced so the squrreles now wait 4 the right momment 2 kill us all!!!:0 (P.S. Kirby is gone!!!(9'-')9
They were always here watching. They are just waiting for the right time to make there move. They are intellectual creatures and should be treated with respect. B/C when they do make there move, what ever it is, they will remember what youve done. Now is the time to show where your loyalty stands and to suport them when the time comes.
Squirrels are the mutant offspring of cats and lizards
sqwerls's come from that sky. the one with the glitter, but i thunk they are pretty sex i. what am I talking about you ask? How should I know you said it.
Richard Nixon released them upon his enemies during the height of the Watergate scandal. They "became fruitful and multiplied," hence the skwerl epidemic we face today.
they are the masters of the universe they have always been here and collectively they are god
I think skwirls came from the vomit of human society!!
I feel that they are a race over super-clever, ultra-hi-tech bionic fury cyborgs from a distant planet and glaxay. They are plotting something very big - the other day whilst I was parking I left my car and suddenly a bombardment of acorns fell on my head. I looked up, and there was a chittering grey ninja laughing as the devil thwarted me with his blows! Grrr! Damn them all to squirrel hell!
lol im doing a school project at my highschool and i will surely use you're theory about pumpkins and skwerls in my project.. i trust i shall not get a high score!
Squirrels come from the very pits of hell!!! They are Satanic creatures bent onm destroying all that is good in the world, and therefore they must die!!! If anyone is stupid enough to buy anything they saw in Buffy the Vampire slayer, then they should have enough wits about them to see the the squirrels are the real supernatural threat. There should be squirrel slayers to kill them off and sent their spirits back to hell from whence they came and where they belong
that rats and chip munks were given sigrets and liqur to create the deformed rodent named the squril
Squirrels have been, for thousands of years, a nuisance to man. Ever since there creation 100,000 years ago when the evolution of man took place, squirrels, developed from bats, rats, and mice, and just have been a combined genetic mutation of all these things. 33% rat, 33% mouse, 33% bat, 100% EVIL. They MUST be stopped before it's too late, there path is to world domination!
they were 10c a dozen and there was a special offer on at the time.
The theory is simple. In the future at some time I build a time machine. I go back in time one million years to engineer the little arborean devils from a combination of Alien DNA and Witchcraft. I then draw upon the workings of Dr. Victor Frankenstein and shock the little buggers to life so they may begin their campaign of conquest for world domination. I think I have explained this simply enough and now to get back to working on my time machine. ~Diana
i think they were put on this world to cheer the heart with cuteness and fuzzyness
i think they came from a tiny planet full of nut shaped orbits and rivers flowing with nutella chocolate spread(thats why all real squirrels are fat)and trees laden with kinder bueno mmmmmm squirrel planet
squrrels came from my back yard. a bird got struck down by lightning and lost in wings. then my brother feed it nuts and it got addicted to them.
I believe that the squirrels were created through a government conspiracy where the government tried to use 28 squirrels and a boquet of petunias to try and harness the energy of flower power and use it against the hippies and when it went horribly wrong (look up the tmi-2 accident, or 3-mile island accident) the squirrels stopped the core meltdown only to save themselves and later escaped using thier powers to mind control the canadian prime minister and overall conquering canada, I know this for a fact because i have researched the matter extensively and have become the first raccoon warrior. the only multi-species squirrel fighters that works in allegience with the armies of the ant, the legion of the llamas, and the mongoose masses. but we are all the same, we share the same hate of all that is squirrely.
Well, I think that squirrels were in fact very disgruntled midgit rabbits. Yes- rabbits- which the squirrels are now in cahoots with. You don't believe me? Fine- but go grab a rabbit, put it near a squirrely, and then you'll see....YOU'LL SEEEEEE! @_@
First there was foamy.Then foamy discovered the cloaning machine(it has never been found).Then one by one Foamy created a mass of 10,000,000 squirels,covering the world in a dark cloud of squirly wrath.
when the mighty penguins ruled the earth there mortal enemys the crabs tried everything they could to off the penguin leader they even tried working in pairs that didnt work so there mighty emporer sqeeky had the idea to create a monster so terrifing so ugly so smart it could finely snuff the leader of the penguins so they took sum rubber from a tire some decaying hair and half a corn cob and the created 2 skwerls and told them to kill the leader of the penguins but they dint want to and the to of the stated gettin busy and had millins of little horrific children and the overthrew the crab empire and the penguins and now there after us.
Gay Monkeys- The first gay monkeys would shove a primitive chipmunk up their butts and then the little furry fruit munchers would s**t a pumpkin with that chipmunk inside. That chipmunk would morph into a skwerl like a caterpillar into a butterfly, and then chew its way out emerging with a Hitlerian desire for world domination. Sincerely, Tommasis X Pussycatious P.S. We’re seeing so many skwerls today because all those gay monkeys have come out of the closet and are making up for lost time.
they came from my house
they come for brains!!! "the great chatterbox tells you to take the brains of a dozen men.... and a cherry coke would be nice