scary squirrel world TUFTY EXPOSED

Patriots, as you know, Tufty the Traffic Safety Squirrel is the nefarious mastermind behind the bushytail horde's plan for squirrel world domination.

For the uninformed, Tufty rose to power in the 1960's using the British Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents as a front for his villainous schemes. Against seemingly impossible odds, he succeeded in unifying the skwerl world with the formation of the Ulster Squirrel Alliance and a simple plan for global conquest: the Kerb Drill.

It's believed that Tufty learned the Kerb Drill from his mother, an abusive woman who kept Tufty on a leash as a child and with whom Tufty continues to live to this day.

The Kerb Drill serves two purposes. One, to deliver a subliminal message to humanity that resistance is futile; and two, to teach his nutzy minions how to cross streets safely...

Kerb Drill

Fortunately for humanity, the Kerb Drill is flawed. For while the Drill's message clearly threatens humankind, it's an incomplete set of instructions for the skwerlball minions it's meant to protect.

So from the beginning, many chitterboxes learned the Drill, made it to the middle of the road, found themselves staring at a speeding vehicle that appeared out of nowhere, summoned up the Drill's words, and realized much too late that it doesn't provide for surprises...

Incredibly, Tufty refused to modify the Drill in spite of its inherent flaw. Always the sociopath, he maintained that there was no oversight in the Drill and that omitting additional instructions was meant to weed out less cognitively adept skwerlballs and improve the skwerlien gene pool.

However, in the 1970's, when it became clear that even his inner-circle thugs were being knocked down by lorries and ice cream vans, Tufty agreed to drop the Kerb Drill in favor of a more explanatory, albeit cautious approach to crossing streets...

Click for large versions

The new plan met with initial success. Nutzy roadkills declined by more than 30% in the first year alone. Pathetic skwerlhuggers were so impressed that they strung rope bridges across and above roads to assist their skwerlball masters in spreading squirrel world domination (a practice that continues today).

But this plan, too, was flawed. It concentrated skwerls in areas vulnerable to ambush. So, it wasn't long before Anti-Squirrel Coalition (ASC) forces began frequenting underpasses and overpasses looking for transient chitterboxes.

CROSSING GUARD COMMENTS The final straw came when ASC operatives signed up as crossing guards ("lollipop men") and used their stop signs as whacking sticks on the hapless nutzys (click guard for comment).

Such disasters have been known to topple governments. But Tufty remained firmly in control of the bushytail horde. He simply dismissed the plan as if it never existed and reinstated the Kerb Drill.

CLICK FOR HIDEOUS CHITTER Today, the Kerb Drill is really a hybrid of the two plans. You've undoubtedly observed slavering nutcrunchers exercising it as they cross roads via overhead wires or the quick march across a hi-way. Even so, it remains largely ineffective in helping skwerls cross roads and skwerlien roadkill remains as plentiful as ever (click skwerl for comment).

So, while the "Quick March" of squirrel world domination continues to decimate our gardens, pummel our birdfeeders, black out our cities, breach our irrigation ditches, cripple our livestock, and terrorize the citizenry, isn't it comforting to know that we are at least on equal footing when the bushytail horde dares to traverse a road?

More importantly, knowing the enemy's Kerb Drill helps every Patriot anticipate the moment when they will be called to do the right thing in the battle against squirrel world domination and the false promises of skwerlhuggery...


Arch-Squirrel is the Lord Supreme High Commander of Squirrel Canada. He and his army of Squirrel Mutants took over the country formerly known as Canada in 2501, and now rule the pathetic humans, using them as slaves. In his free time, the Supreme Commander enjoys touring his Kingdom, visiting the acorn mines, laughing at the silly humans, and knitting cute little hats for his Squirrel Legion of Doom. (Note: Im iz Arch-Squirrel!!!!FEAR MEZ!!!!)

im gona drive over tuffy and do burnouts!!!
Tufty is such a pleasant memory from my childhood. How could I be so blind!!!
Tuffy will go Bump Bump under my wheels if he gets in my way.
i think if we all listen to what tufty has to say the roads would be a safer environment for our children. Tufty, i thank you from the bottom of my fluffy heart.
Tufty needs a BF Goodrich overlay!!!
WE LUV U TUFFY!!!!!!!!!! ..................................... (\/) (..) ITS TUFFY!!
Tufty is such a loser. Tell 'im I've got a bullet with 'is name on it!!!
What da heck is this? If squirrels are going to take over the world, I say let 'em! Leastways, they couldn't do a worse job of it than our polititions!
that was awesome the squirrel was cool
Hi tufty I love you
Tufty the squirrel is my hero! Long live Tufty and the nutzys and the swerlien gene pool!
How does Tufty get Mr. Policeman Badge to go along with his plans? And why doesn't the weasel eat him?????
If you have scrolled down this far, I salute you. ALL HAIL MY FAMOUS APPRENTINCE, FOAMY. ~YourSistersB***h
Poor tufty, he's roadkill!
this is the most retarded thing i have ever read i mean it doesn't make any sense what proof do they have and squirrels can't live 36 years
I think you should add a bit of.......BAG he's hit kind of thing. Inless this is real story of coures.
thats some funnny sh*t
You humans think your soo great with your high IQ levels and apposible thumbs. Well, we shall shower our acorns of doom upon your cities, and if you still dont give up, we will send maggots through your corpses. With love and care, The Chipmunks
tuffy is so cute
Tufty is flippin awesome but it's kind of ironic that its mostly squirrels that get hit by cars....TUFTY WILL FIX THAT! GO TUFTY!!!
wow this is so random... and i spend my whole day looking for random things online im not really sure what this website is about but "do the right thing in the the battle against squirrel world domination" makes this whole site worth my time. -love andrewthemercenary
tufty is a weird name and he will b hit by a car one day...i hope its mine...skwerls r awsome when they r white or black,or grey, but brown skwerls suck...they can die,maybe b electricuted by the power lines they run across.ya,but i'll kill them twice if they black out my house.DEATH TO TUFTY!!!!!
I think Tufty is awesome, he is a stud muffin and he is an inspiration to all kids and squirrels and who ever said "f**k Tufty" is going to die one day from a car accident from not looking both ways.
we are all going to die of mass destruction
whenever i see a squirrel in the road, i swerve to hit it. i hope that other conteintious citzens will do the same.
Ok Tufty is weird but maybe we need him to take over, I mean how much worse can it get????
I always use to think that me and my friends were they only ones that feared squirrels were gunna take over the world with their evil masterminds but now i know we are not alone in thinking that way just look at them being so close to us pretending to be collecting nutz they are just observing us to find our weaknesses
You are stupid! Squirrels don't do that kind of crap!
Tufty is my hero! If it wasnt for him I would be like that squirrel my mum ran over the other day. I went to put flowers on him, but my friend spat on him. His eye rolled away down the road. It was disgusting but hilarious. Like that music on Honestly, I thought it was fantastic. I think you should put it on a cd and go for the #1 spot on the british charts.

Squirrel lover,
Squirrel mcsquirrel pants.
Your a jackass! ALL OF YOU!

They should make a gansta version of tufty
Love you Tufty! ~Amy Price and Karen
y have i ben on this web site for 5 hours!!!!
y dnt you and your f**king tuffy cross the road and die!!!!
Tufty is a squirrel and.... He's fluffy.... And he walks across the road... Yep, that's Tufty.
Tufty and Foamy sittin' in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g; first come love; then comes marriage; then comes Twiggy in a baby carriege
tufty is retarted
he should be dead just cause he's a sqrewl
Tufty Rocks
Tufty should not cross roads.
Squirrels will rule the world and i will help!!!
my opinin is that i love squirrels and we should nominate one to be president, cuz i bet our ntty, furry friends could do a helluva better job than bush is.has. xxxooo!
Sqwerl's dexerve to die. Drive large vehicles that are harder to dodge.
I beleive what you say and i have more news that may lead to unuasual porportion. That the Nazi squirrels aree digging under the eatlantic and are preparing to attack.
I have seen squirrels look both ways before crossing, they should put that brake commercial up where the squirrels run across the road and make the cart swerve off, and them give each other a high five in the center of the road. That crossing guard looks, um, for the sake of young peoples, lets leave it at strange *cough cough*child molester*cough, cough*
go f*ck tuffy
this is like a really silly website ... why would even think about making one about squirrels and just why... Squirrels are nifty so they can just get along fine and we need to kill some or we will get over populated with those things..
If Tufty lives in the U.S, I would suggest he looks left then right.
tufty... your plan is working wonders here your winning some humans on our side yess...
squirrels are so sexy and smart!!!!!!!!
f**k tuffy
I think that squirrels are awesome and it would be an honour to be a part of there squirrel army!
I killed a squirrel today with my car and I am so sad.
tufty rules !!!!!!!! but make him a bit more funny.
we should hav people that escort squirrels across the road ID DO IT
not very interesting
Ok here is the truth.. Why do squirrels cross the road. The reason why they cross the road is because all squirrels that wish to be trained in the Nazi way.. they have to put their life on the line for their "squirrerlyhood" So next time you see one running like **LL across the road... HIT THEM.. your doing the world a favor! DON'T LET THEM TAKE OVER THE WORLD
Tufty is God! We LOVE you, Tufty!!!!! ~Helen, Shannon, Iris, Galway
As being a sqwerl myself, I would like to comment on how educatoinal this has been to me. you see I was using the kerb Drill for a large portion of my life, and seem to find it a bit dangerous at times, expesialy on freeways. Now I shall introduce the second way you explained to all of my neighborhood sqwerls! You have truely changed my life~!
the skwerls must die!!! "grags pellet gun and loads it."
wow. This touches my heart.
Aww.. look at the poor little evil mastermind!
I shot tufty and I am geting it mounted I wonder how it can cross the road now.
my opinion is to look before you cross! all of you crazy squirrels who get hit by cars.
Why did the nutzy skwerl cross the road again? Give up??? Because he didn't get killed the first time.
Ok, that's weird. But I think that the subliminal messages cannot be transmitted by reading things. Only by good rock music. Do we know where Tufty's hideout is? If we do, we can send HIM subliminal messages, and make HIM realize that resistance is futile. Besides that, I think that can be considered as amazing litterature.
Well, now, it's nice to see he's at least got the brains to look for a Belisha beacon (? I thought they were being phased out in the UK). We've got a problem here in the US, especially The Bronx in NYC. The black skwerlz are just terrorizing the Bronx Zoo. The tigers don't like them ("Dam' little b******s won't let me get my beauty rest," one told me); one snow leopard is being psychoanalyzed. Next thing you know the little furballs will move into the subways (ah, underground/tube in UK). When they get to 34th St., WATCH OUT! We've had enough trouble, we ain't gonna stand for any more! Little furry iudfvpaoksojjh8wy2jhu (insert vigorous and loud swearing...)
a friend was driving down the road, a squirrel fell out of a tree or off a power line, and landed on his windshield. the squirrel was ok, unlike the one that ran into the wheel of my mustang, squirrels can be crazy, i have hit a few, they often make a mess, not sure why people try to hit them. birds are the worst, 7 years and i am still finding dove feathers in the radiator, i know a few squirrel hunters, they say they taste like chicken, but there isnt much meat. its ok to hunt it if you are going to eat it. i used to feed squirrels, but there are hawks around where i live now, so i quit feeding them to keep them out of sight of the hawks.
A great example of human expresion. It doesn't matter if it makes sense, it matters that can be said. Just like a Dali paint, saving the diference of course.
*shakes head sadly* Squirrel Domination is certain. *looks around* well, at least in padded cells.
Your overreacting!!!
I speed up for squirrels. Just doin' my part. --TruPatriot
My Army of bloodthirsty, Flying, nut-upsessed skwerls wil DESTROY YOU. thank you for your patience.
Squirrels are wierd... reatarded squirrels.... my brain heats up when i look at dumb websites.... is something burning?
i feer squirls...they will take over the world...WHY WASN'T I BORN A SQUIRRL
It is funny,weard,and that all
This shows you the evil of the skwerells. To spell the word Curb as Kerb. I always knew that the skwerlls were not too bright but that clinches it. We must Kerb (oops, ahem...) Curb their evil plans!
Damn i think i saw in the road yester day, and you wern't look'n so hot
tuffy!?!?!!? what the hell!?!!?!? descrimanashon to squirrls evry were!!!! sencerly:seeria
skwerls also dont even have to cross the street they can just go across teliphonewires XD! and thats how they black out our citiesXD!
is it ok if I include Tufty on my evil squirrel website coming out soon??? luv Taz the evil squirrel hunter
Chipmunks will take over Russia, and squirrels will take over Switzerland.
OK.. you ppl r seriously messed up... of corse skwerls r gonna rule the world... Duh' like you cant figure that out on your own... i mean they are like mini geiuses... you may belive they are just dumb little rodents but that is all part of their diabolicle plan!! they send out decoys to make you think they are just another type of dumb rodents that we dont need 2 worry bout... but bucky (my skwerl) is going to be the ruler of them all!! muahahaha! ha! X3Crissy ~n~ BuckyX3 P.S. you humans have no chance
dudes what the hell is wrong with all of you, dont you know that squirrels are omniscient beings, like gods if you will, they dont really die, when you kill one of them the come back five fold, so that one day coming soon they will dominate the human race and make us their slave for all eternity!!!! LONG LIVE THE SQUIRRELS
skwerl-E wrath in a notzi uniform... with pockets!
I think he should just run out and let instinct and skill take him... or the car
i think that we should all load our 50cals. and diminish the evil squirrel population.
You should take your skwerl issues up with your pharmacist, you "nut"
write this? write that? oh, crap!
Don't listen to the bad stuff they say.o.k, I agree squirrels can be a pest, but they are so cute! Go squirrels!!!
Tufty's a wuss mama's boy. He wouldn't last 5 mins with a gay gerbil
i dont think u should say "crap" then again i do so never mind PS you rock Scary Squirell World!!!!!!!!
i aggree with whoever it was said that the person that wrote this needs a CAT not joking...u should really look into getting one!!
Who ever wrote this piece of **** is a frikin' idiot.
Man that is one of the smartest skwerls I have ever seen
i do believe that the squirrel army is gathering at the Penn State University and that the hostile takeover will soon begin from there. The squirrels are merely pawns in amuch wider ranging conspiracy headed by the badgers. Don't be fooled. At school many of my friends became members of The Tufty Club - ostensibly a road safety organisation, but it masked an attempt to indoctrinate children from an early age into believing that squirrels/skwerls were their friends. My mother wouldn't let me join.
Makey sum squirrel stew out of roadkill! Mmmmm........squirrel.
I agree with who ever said this "whoever wrote this needs a CAT scan" thanks for saying what we all thought!
the lollipop man is a nazi
Aye Aye, master Tufty. For us squirrels, there is a chance... I have an Idea... let's just eat the road making machines... will that work?
y ask the police i mean our country is independant(i mean that hypothetically)
Ohhh you are the one who helps us cross the road well I don't need help corssing the road because im a big girl now....hahha wow shut the hell up...
Uhh I hate this site because it is boring and there is nothing to do so yeah
everyone knows squirrels are just animals! *shifty eyes* yesss.....animals....
Skwerls rule... they can cross the road in front of me any time and not get hit. I brake for skewrls. They are cute, charming, and a joy to behold... skwerl hugger of the first class here! :-) ---CritterQueenWC
this is very weird/odd
squirrellies rock people,noone can stop them from ruleing the world!Also we get our own squirrel crossing so we can rule the world in a happy safe world! I love them squirrelies. there my fraorite animals. Someday squirrels willl overcome. At school i got 25 people to draw me squirrels an sign thier name ! Its so awsem ^^.
go squirrelies go tufty you rock!go squirrelies go tufty you rock!go squirrelies go tufty you rock!go squirrelies go tufty you rock!go squirrelies go tufty you rock!
why did Tufty cross the road? to kill the pearson on the other side!
Ummm squirrel good with bisquites and gravy yummmmm
we love tuffy!
who ever kills squirrels are so cruel and mean . i mean well atleast if you hit a squirrel then bury it don't leave it . oh yah and squirrels are not dumb or retarted. who ever says they are should die. one day i hope squirrels do take over the world and make you slaves you mean people.
can we see pictures of squirrels that have been hit by cars please?
You non-skwerl huggers need to get a cat skerl brain scan. Put an acorn in each of your ears when you go to bed tonight and tomorrow, voom - you'll have had a cat skwerl brain scan.
WOW ... now I can hear my mother all over again " ALWAYS CROSS ACROSS A CROSSING" Ahhhhhhhhhhh
"Death to you" says the man
"Death to men" says the woman
"Death to all" says the squirrel
what is this im like gonna die of confusion
I was in the Tufty Club in Canada
Skwerls dont need no traffic laws to dominate the world, just jump on their faces and eat 'em for god's sake!
OMG! i luv Tufty!!! hes sooo cute
well, this is pretty NUTS... get it?
I never ate a squirrel I didn't like!
thats so funny i love squirrels i always see them in my back yard and i buy squirrel food and feed them.. ther so funny
squirrels are mezmerizing our childrens minds to attack us!!!!!!! we're all doomed, squirrel domination will come soon! they must have a human spy, miss shmadeke??? No! i always knew she was evil.
Your legion of cats will soon succumb to my tasty antifreeze coctail. It's a lovely sight to behold, just like an alcoholic on a whiskey bottle. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Leave the squirrels alone.
There are only 4 skwerls that are not on Tufty's ring ov evil. thay are Foamy, Pill-Z, Begley and Tha Hatta. they are our spies! ALL HAIL THE FOUR GREAT SKWERLS!
Tufty - call me. I had fun with you last night, See you soon xxxxxxxxx
You darn Squirrelhuggers! you shall all burn in hell!!!
Incase you haven't noticed, I am busy with someone now, so plz leave a message, and My skwerls will be happy to kill you l8er. Thank you for your time. ^^
damn them squrirrels. squrrieels. squriirels. squirrels. I don't even know how to spell the little critter's name. They are so cute, bulloney. So cute and tastey! I say yes, I hunt the little critters and I eat them. I call it Quick Munch!! Yes indeed. An important food source, indeed. Bright eyed and bushy tailed, yes, and that is what I shoot for, the hybrids. The nutcrunchers and the wire walkers; the fence walkers. Yes, the wire fencewalkers are the easy targets. I go out there with hose in hand and I shoot those little basterds off my fence. It is all I can do. I am 89 years old and can still handle a hose!

Ms. Masy
I had NO idea how dangerous street cross'n cud be!!! ThanX 4 helping this world to be a bit safer..... Luv and Cuddles, Skwerl Luver
This is the worse shite iv ever heard! Are you high? Why should just birds get to eat put out a squirrel feeder and they will stay out of your flower beds. And they try to cross the road to look for food,and get to their homes. you have no right to tell people to run themdown. maybe one day you will be a squirrel and i will see you in the road... untill then peace out dumb a__h___s!!!!
Thank you, I now know what i must do to aid in the fight aginst Skwerls. TUFTY MUST DIE!
it's safer this whay a demenstration by me know watch carfuly... right left right oh s*hi* ow my leg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And they taste the best in autum!
I remember it was 3 years ago and I was sitting in my backyard. I saw a cute little sqwerel come up 2 me. I was just about to pet it when it bit my finger off. Oh the pain! So b careful. they may b cute but their evil little tree rats (thats what my grandpa calls them).
I have a comment for a comment that was already put up. It said: My brother is a squirrel, and he/she will complete his/her plan to dominate the world! Go squirrelie! HELLO!!! If your BROTHER is a squirrel, I'd say that the his/her thing is NOT NESSESARY!!!
It's so nutty it just might work!
squirrels are nice... *stop prodding me with that you nut eating ####%%**~###* yes, we all like our squrrel masters *mumble* even though they don't have opposable thumbs... *no, no not the blowtorch!* *ohmygodi'monfire*
yesterday i chased a squirrel out into the street. it was to busy turning around to flick me off (or try) it got nailed by a car. jake= 1
squirrels = 0
I tried it. Now you'll be hearing from my lawyer
to all the people who have run over squirrels i hope the next time you get on the road the engine will fall out and when you put another engine in the car i hope it will turn on at night while you are asleep at bed then it will come crashing through your house and you will die with all the other peole who run over squirrels along withall of the asc [also known as the anti-squirrel coalition]or as a squirrel lovers point of view of it[a squirrels crap]
first of all i think tufty is a very smart squirrel for coming up with this plan so he will have 30 percent more squirrels left over after so called "road kill" and that way the squirrels will have a better chance at squirrel world domination woohoo go squirrel world domination!!!!!! written by squirrel lover11
Whoever wrote this stuff needs checked into a mental hospital.. i mean this stuff is funny, but the fact is, squirrels are never going to rule the planet.. come on pplz get your heads strait...
this is in all in different places at once and i can't understand it.
Soon tuftys time will be up , and then conker will rule the squirrel world i tells ya! He's got a gun .
QUOTED "My opinion is this : Tufty must be drinking gasoline or something. Everyone knows that the correct spelling is "CURB". Only in communist Russia and certain parts of Germany is it spelled "Kerb". What does that tell ya partner? It tells ya Tufty is a communist." ITS EITHER RED OR DEAD BUDDY
Lovely Tufty you are so pretty plz come and join my beautiful squirrel angels AND WE WILL ALL RULE THE WORLD HAHAHA, i mean we'll be happy and learn about road crossing saftyness heheh
Man I never knew skwerls were trying to rule the world damn those little b's I know one skwerl that does not want to ake over the world our pet skwerl bob his tail is missing so we can tell him apart from others. My dad and I hate skwerls and so does my friend and her dad they eat our tomatoes and even our christmas lights, I think all skwerls except bob should die.
I think there are some people with simply too much time on their hands. And, of course there are others with too much squirrel on the back of their wheels. ;)
Love You Tuffy right behind you!
I hate squirrels and I run them over often.
I think someone smart enough can invent athing that senenses a skrul if its xing and it will go under groundand they will be on the other side of the street.
squirrel huggers are retarded theyre freaking squirrels for cring out loud...did you know robots are going to take over the world? Thats what tufty told me. See what hes teaching little kids
that is like totally awesome! tufty is like so CUTE! totally.
alrighty..whatever gets you through your day..I did a report on them in 4th grade..but you guys are serious freaks and need to check yourself into a mental institution!!!!!!!!! I'm telling you this because it's for your own good!!!!
We should put squirrels in plastic bags then throw them into the river.
I like squirrels. I think we should pet them. My sisters a squirrel. I pet her too.
Squirrels have always been a hobby of mine...i dont really know y...i dont even know how i found this website, but in any case, this site has entertained me for the last 30 min and i'm proud of it. SQUIRREL POWER!!! (Go spurs!)
The Invisible Squirrels are allied with the Martians and our only hope is to Join the Ninja Raccoons in their march against the evil chitterboxes. They want complete Geneocide(complete extinction of a race) of the human race. They will NOT give you mercy for joining them in their conquest.Maybe a slow death instead of eternal pain but no mercy.
Tufty is my Savior! All hail His Shining Light!!!
i think trufty is funny but he should be in porn
OH MY GOD!!! SQUIRRELS!!! OH GOD!!! NOOO!!! I SHALL NEVER BOW DOWN TO THEIR POWER!!! OH GOD!!! OH, THE HORROR!!! ~makes an awkward girgling noise~
is tuffy dyslexic?
hahaha...the lollipop man...hahaha
i love your website and i think that you should get more funny stuff to put on it so that i can have a good giggle every once in a the way...giggle stands for drugs
wash your hands before touching a squirrel!
To be honest, I dont really think that squirrels could possibly f--k the world up any weren as much as we have. good luck to them I say, its about time for a new society.... one without the desire to consume everything
I am a lonly squirrel with no place to go. I need money so I am going to jion the Squirrel Army. Thanks for the encoragement. -
I Love You,
omg skwerls rock my sox off!!!!!! they are so spiffy!! u go tufty!! i hand feed squirrels off of my balcony!!! they are the mostcoveted creatures ever to walk the face of the earth!!! (in my opinion neway) screw u who wants squirrels 2 die!!!!!
tuffy is evil he is a creature of the devil... scrach that TUFFY IS THE DEVIL REINCARNATED
One question, what does crossing the street have to do with squirrel domination? I mean, i know they will take over, but how will crossing the street help accomplish that?
Tufty should respect his mother but then again, he needs to let loose and take chances...get high or drunk man
thats cool a squirrel that knows safety laws but i'd ask someone who kmows the area.
tufty the squirrel is such a safety freak.i wish he would of gotten blown up or some kind of crap like that lol. PS-SQUIRRELS ARE EVIL!!!!!!!!!! and tufty the squirrel is a moron.
LOLOL! i love this! i'm doing a project on these lil critters and may site this place. thanks for the info! ^_^
My Dad's happiest final years were spent feeding and watching HIS sqirrels!
I think that Tufty is my hero! I've always loved squirrels with a passion! Me and and my friend Jessica are obsessed with the cute, fuzzy, creatures. Me and jessica studied squirrels until one day, Jessica ran over a poor, innocent squirrel, the pafoofta when pasquishta. I will not talk to jessica anymore.
once i was behind a truck that ran over a skwerl it was as flat as paper and i loved it!
everywon shood drive big cwiet cars and POOF!!!! theire histery
hey, um... hi! right, so, i think that squirrels are cool, i mean, my door knocker is a freakin acorn.... but ya, um, thanks Tufty?
Tufty should take care of himself because we dont want him to die
You are like so right man you should check before crossing the street
i am going to marry tufty he is my new love!
do not worry, i have sent my hundred best assasin chipmunks out for tufty. he shall pay. Vampytheslayer
Squirls know those rules but they just like to screw around with us! they make us swerve and crash and stop really fast! They arr EVIL!!!!!
When I see squirrel doing the tightrope, I slow down. I've seen 'em hang by a finger, it's funny--they always recover.
A squirrel in my neighborhood is my friend. I feed it nuts and it steals peaches from that son-of-a-bitch next door.
I think we should train all of the squirrels to look before they leap. Smarter squirrels, Smarter world! My 16 year old brother thinks he is a squirrel, I'm not kidding. He can even sound like one. FREAKY!
lillipop man what kind of crap is that it's called a crossing guard
Tufty is wierd
TUFTY IS MY IDOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i love your website and you are so cute?
may tufty die
Squirrels are cute. Dont run them over!!!
thank you tufty! we can now cross the road safely, but when are we going to rule the world? love the squirrel and squirrelly xxx
i'm a skwerl myself and i want you to know that i will take over the world!!!!!!!!! my army is getting bigger and bigger. you humans have no idea whats coming.all i want to say is BEWARE!!!!!!!! P.S. THANX FOR THE PUSH!!
that rundown oh crap thing is sososososo funny! i even sent it to my friend! LOL! hahahahaha
whoever wrote this needs a CAT scan
why ask a policeman
^^ An army of squirrels are going to hunt you down, shave you, and knit your hair into a sweater. ^^ how nice
you people are sad who cares if a Squirrel lives or dies, look at me i kill Squirrels and no one seems to care so why should you care if some one runs over a nice slick Squirrel it only give some sweet sweet protein back to the planet or my case the grill of my car, screw you all i am going to go get some more thou in my case it would be a posum
Let squirrels rule the world! My brother is a squirrel, and he/she will complete his/her plan to dominate the world! Go squirrelie!
skwerls are nozi's
Has anyone every conducted a Government funded research project to help reduce the number of road pizzas by calculating the percentage of times a squirrel will dart to the left vs to the right? If so, I believe that data should be considered public domain under the Freedom of Information Act and disseminated as widely as possible whereby helping to keep our Nation's highways and biways free of unsightly carnage.
How can Tufty's mother sleep at night? That's So Horribble!!! "Cry,Sob,Cry!!!"
wow, get a life morons
Squirrels are really aliens from another planet come to Earth for world domination. They're succeeding, too. The only obstacle is they don't understand the concept of ground transporation, being from a race which relies entirely on aerial acrobatics. That's why so many get smushed in the road, otherwise they'd have won years ago.
ok....bridges for squirrels..interesting
Smart little demon animals that can jump from tree to tree or walk across wires, we need to BEAT THEM UP!!!!:):):):):):):):):):)
Websites containing skwerls are funny and easy cheese
Left, Right, Right, Left, OH CRAP!!! hilarious, this website is f__ked up
My opinion is this : Tufty must be drinking gasoline or something. Everyone knows that the correct spelling is "CURB". Only in communist Russia and certain parts of Germany is it spelled "Kerb". What does that tell ya partner? It tells ya Tufty is a communist.
Tufty is my hero .... mwahahahahhahaha!
My legions of Cats should soon chase out your pathetic squirrels. The crossing guard will only help me out further...
Hey, let me introduce myself. I am the one actually controlling the squirrel army... that's right, ME. We have half a million trained and fully armed troops and none of you stand a chance. And if that weren't enough, we also have several allies, such as parapalegic bloodletters, spidermites and of course, the yellow sub. The only ones that can even hope to stop us now are the Necron Tuna, but either way, you all loose. Muwhahahahahah
DUDE! The evil mutant nazi squirrels of doom shall PERISH! Awesome website!
thank god!
Love the skwerls. They're hot.
Squirrels r cute and fluffy theyre nice and they like humans
Although u may all seem to love ur squirels, i must say i love my nuts, and ur squirels love my nuts as well, so if anything could rule the world it would be me and my nuts
Skwerls need to be separated on thier own little island somewhere in the middle of the Antarctic Ocean. That is my opinion on skwerls.
Squirrels are wierd
dont kill squirrels you reatard!!!!
This was dumb as s$%t but for little kids so i guess its ok
i'm a skawirrel hugger! join me, and help our friends in the domination against skawirrel-haters and chickens!
Scwerls ...... safe and they go up agenst n dog aka fuz ball with dedly fangs
First I run infront of the car then run back and teh car crashes that our real plan the casualties you have seen are really the rebel forces being punished to disallusion and jade you.
Tufty... is like me.. but in Squirrel form... TOTAL~WORLD~DOMINATION~!!! ~Sati~
Thats Crap!
You say Tufty rocks? If it isn't for the ASC we'll all be ruled one day by 'cute little Tufty and his nut mongering minions of impending doom' Yay! We're doomed! The truth... it isn't nice... but it's the truth...
*comment from person walking by office* "that squirrel crap again? why can't you just go to porn sites like a normal person
Brake 4 squirrels!!!
this is hilarious *laughs hystericaly*
tufty rocks this world!!
you all have serious problems, and should consider help.
Smart little critters, but the poor ones that "Ground out"...... Smokers!
It ahs nothing to do with WORLD DOMINATION!!! F__k u all!!!!!!!!
my mommy says that i shouldnt be looking at all this stupid squirrel stuff but i dont care because i love it!!! tufty rocks!!!
Is there a twelve step program for skwerlhuggers?
our opinion is that tufty is the coolest thing we've ever seen. has he ever been struck down by a passing vehicle?

Ed. note: no, he's had a close call or two, but nothing compared to accident-prone Willie Weasle
I think you should really get a dictionary. how can YOU spell squirrel wrong? Oh yeah you are my quick SQUIRREL fix so thank you
I am an EVILLLL squirrel/hamster/evil chipmunk!And we only live for a short while in the first place,so STOP RUNNING US OVER!
we need 2 step up the campaign-they've even managed 2 get on2 my pc n leave a pic of their leader!
oh whoever wrote this i think tufty needs some agustments he needs to be funny, cooler, and huncy tufty is ALSO STUPID!!
this web site is pathetic and thay tufty squirrel is pathetic
Tufty is just following orders from me, via our telepathic connection
you kick...ass : )
I'm with the evil metasquirrels theory. Tufty is my idol. squick squick!
people should drive slow so they will not run over poor sguirrels
A splendid summation of crucial history and its relevence today. There should be a black, white and pink safety diagram for all common circumstances.
the squirrle aree evil nazis from mars and you helped me relize that. thanks scary squirrel world!
that was crap
omg i am obsessed w/ skwerls they ru sooooo awsum ur awsum i lov hoo eva rote this u r soo awsum omg i luv u!
The Skewels are evil there with the canadians I know it they going to get me I must stop them before they get to me cheese
Tufty ROKS! Tufty is almost as cool as Foamy!!!!!!! -sublminal mesage- ALL HAIL FOAMY!!!!
skwerls deserve to rule.
kill them all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
they can get sqashed for all i care thers to many of them
let us all join the skwerls in conquest of the humans
squrrel's taste liek chicken they are yummy
I love squirrels, especially Tufty!!!!! HES SO CUTE!
Why is Tufty telling me what to do? Please make him stop!
I LoVe yOu, whoever wrote this.
Even though we run them over, they don't really die. They are evil metasquirrels from another dimension. Why will nobody listen? Time is running out!
You guys have way to much time on your hands but its funny
your right as rain.. just the uther day i caught a chitterbax in a card board box. i wonderd if marijuana would cure their actions of terrorizing my bird feeders.. after i smoked the box i let it out and it just wobbled away.. its been comming back for 2 days now sitting on my porch looking for something but dosent bother my bird feeders..
I LOVE TUFTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO !!!!!!!!!
i loved it.... just next time u do right this... make sure that u have more info. and make it much funnier
That's SO COOL. I LOVE the little squirrelbridges. and tufty is WEIRD.
To the guy who ran over the big fat grey squirrel on Evergreen Valley Road Sunday morning: I hope your transmission falls out and you develop all kinds of Mysterious electrical problems. You couldn't even be bothered to take his poor little body out of the road. I hope you throw a rod-- on one of those strestches of freeway where the next exit is 5 miles away. In the rain. At night.
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